Musings from Career True North
Career Direction GPS: Feeling Stuck? Try Laughably Easy Steps
by Michele Fawcett-Long, Career True North
Several days ago, when we met for her career coaching session, Ellen* looked glum and told me she was really discouraged. The week before, she had made zero progress in her career-direction exploration, and she was having trouble motivating herself. To help her get past being stuck, I suggested that she try laughably easy steps.
A laughably easy step is something small, simple and really doable, like folding a pair of socks or just sitting down in front of your laptop. You’ll think to yourself, “I can do that!” It’s truly laughably easy to do the task.
As we talked, Ellen chose to set a goal of working 10 minutes a day. This was a doable, accessible way for her to make progress toward the life she wants.
Easy-peasy, right?
Ellen frowned and said, “But that won’t get me anywhere!”
Ah. She’s not alone – I hear this a lot.
Secret #1 – Small steps will take you far
In my experience, the opposite of Ellen’s statement is true. People who can make small steps toward their career-change goals actually end up making a lot of progress.
Unfortunately, people who believe one small step at a time isn’t enough often get stuck. They are usually really smart and capable, and things can also go south. They often believe “I have to do this exceptionally well or I will never get there,” feel overwhelmed, get blocked, and ultimately find themselves cruising Tik Tok and main-lining Ben & Jerry’s. (It’s OK if you see yourself in that picture – read on for some hope.)
Secret #2 – Be kind to yourself along the way
As a possible alternative (or accessory to) Ben & Jerry’s, whenever you notice that you’re feeling stuck or overwhelmed, you can try being kind to yourself. I know, you’ve heard this before and may be rolling your eyes.
Here’s a little more detail that might make “being kind to yourself” less like rainbows and unicorns ~
Start by acknowledging whatever you’re thinking and feeling. You don’t need to fix or change, condone or challenge. Just acknowledge that this is how you feel and what you’re thinking right now.
And then offer kindness. If you can feel kindness, great. But if that’s hard, you can offer the concept of kindness.
And then find a laughably easy step and do it.
(And if you’re still thinking kindness is too squishy and tough love is the only way to motivate yourself, try this: when one of those tough love thoughts pop into your head, ask it if it is helping you. See what happens.)
Secret #3 - You already know how to make laughably easy steps
The hidden truth is that all of us make laughably easy steps every day, and it’s the only way we get anything done.
Take my usual daily breakfast oatmeal as an example. Here are the laughably easy steps I take to make my oatmeal:
- Remember that I need to make my oatmeal
- Stop clearing my email inbox
- Stand up from my desk
- Walk into the kitchen
- Reach out my hand to the cupboard
- Grasp the handle
- Open the cupboard
- Pull out the oat container
- Put the container on the counter
- Walk to the pan drawer
- Bend over and pull out a pan
- Stand up and put the pan on the burner
- Pick up the oat container
- Pour oats into the pan
- Walk to the sink with the pan
- Turn on the faucet
- Add water to the oats in the pan
- Walk back to the stove
- Put the pan on the burner
- Sprinkle a little salt into the pan
- Turn on the heat
- Set a timer
Despite the fact that I actually don’t notice while I’m doing them, I am taking all of these laughably easy steps as I make my breakfast every day. I couldn’t get my oatmeal cooked if I didn’t take them.
You also do this – with your breakfast and whatever else you do all day. You already know how to take laughably easy steps, and they help you accomplish whatever you need to do. My guess is that most of the time you don’t notice them and you just do them. But bringing them to into the light can help when you’re facing difficulties or are overwhelmed.
Sometime soon, when you find yourself not wanting to deal with something, try sussing out the laughably easy steps that will be part of your project. Break your actions into very small and doable steps.
And if you’re a career-changer, the next you find yourself in career-change paralysis, try this:
- notice that you’re stuck and how it feels to be stuck (you don’t need to fix or change your thoughts or feelings – just notice)
- offer kindness
- identify one tiny step
- do it
You can stop there, or find one more very small step, and do that too.
(And if the designated step still feels overwhelming, ask yourself if you can you break it down into even smaller steps. Keep breaking the process down until you say, “I can do that!” And then do it. Think of the equivalent of standing up, folding a T-shirt, or scratching your nose.)
Secret #4 – "A body in motion stays in motion."
You will often create momentum by taking your small, doable steps. Once you get started, the next small step and the one after that are often easier. You’ll switch into the part of your brain that knows how to get things done, and it won’t be so hard to do each step.
For example, today I arrived at my desk today feeling somewhat tired and overwhelmed. I stared at my screen for a bit. Inertia was my friend, and I thought, “I’ll never write anything useful!” I noticed the nasty little thought and my fatigue, offered kindness, and finally decided that my laughably easy step would be to spew out words for 15 minutes – I’d just write anything at all and wouldn’t care if it was any good.
And a little bit of momentum magic happened. When the timer went off after 15 minutes, I’d hit my groove and actually had more things to say. I pushed the timer to restart. By the end of the session, I was in my 6th iteration of 15 minutes, and the first draft of this post was done.
How's Ellen?
Happily, my career coaching client Ellen is also building momentum. So far, each day for 5 days in a row, she has worked 10 minutes toward her career-exploration. That’s 50 more minutes of work than she accomplished last week. If she keeps her laughably easy goal as 10 minutes a day – which seems like nothing, right? – she will put in 70 minutes a week and more than 60 hours in a year.
And she is moving toward the life she wants, one laughably easy step at a time.
*”Ellen’s” name and some minor details tweaked to protect the innocent